Monday, September 24, 2007

Nobody Told Me There Would Be Days Like This

Every once in a while there are days that stretch the cosmic rubber band so tight it just has to snap. Today was one of those days and surprisingly enough, it started with a search for bungee cord.

I do not spend my whole life dealing with bicycles. Some time ago I had this wild idea to build a wooden kayak. Long story short, there was a LOT of sanding involved and I wound up with a 16.5 foot two seater kayak. Those of you who are married will understand why there are two seats. The single people will just have to suffer through the learning curve.

The kayak is going to Texarkana, both Texas and Arkansas, and we are visiting the inlaws. Think sedatives, crossword puzzle book, cheap novels and visits to pawn shops, not necessarily in that order. The kayak has an open cockpit and a cover would be a brilliant idea. (Brilliant in the British sense, look it up.) A cover would keep the boat from filling up with air, or god help us, water and still let all that view the boat know just how splendid a boat I created.

To make this cover nice and snug, I went searching for a 12 foot length of bungee cord. It used to be easy but today it took many fruitless trips. The first two stops went without a hitch or success. The next three stops had an very unwelcome wrinkle. I do not know why, I am not omniscient, but my bottom bracket decide to unwind. Those of you who do not ride should be informed that this means the thingamabob that lets the pedals turn make rear wheel go around decided to go east and west at the same time. It should not do this. Oh no, not now not ever, this is a bad thing.

I tightened it down by hand every couple of miles and still found no bungee cord. I could have bought a wrench or a pair of pliers, but I am poor and frugal. I did find some pathetic shock cord and will have to make do. Planning ahead is good but who knew my inlaws would want to go kayaking, it’s not like they know how to swim.

We decided that we really did need to go to the Art Forum for the first meeting after the summer break. It is an hour’s drive and we were well prepared. I installed a new stereo, the cassettes are history and we have 30 CD's to get us down the road. (Hint, do not pick up the soldering iron from the hot part. It hurts, a LOT.) We were cruising along nicely until we had a flat tire in a construction zone. It wasn’t easy pulling off the expressway, there really wasn't a shoulder, and if there had not been a high speed rear-ender, seconds behind us, we might still be there.

Moral of the story? Check that spare tire. Make sure it really and truly has air and doesn’t just thump. Also, keep in mind that just because DPS says they will be there doesn’t mean they actually will.

A two inch piece of something steel went through our tire. I still have it. The asphalt was fresh and !@##$$% hot. The spare held air until I let the jack down. My wife is svelte or my thighs would be crushed because she sat on my lap all the way to Pep Boys. Manny, Moe, and Jack might be cool but they hire idiots.

Check the spare, please.

And, don’t try and find bulk bungee cord in the Rio Grande Valley. It just isn't worth the effort.
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