Soyez cool; soyez relax
Every once in a while I just want to go off on a rant. I want to rage against injustice and insult both real and perceived. Right now I really would like to rant but I’m going to be nice. I am not going to call the entirety of the Saturday riders blathering idiots. I am not going to even mention that they were riding ditch to ditch across the road or even that they w
ere ditch to the paint line on a busy highway. Nope, not a word. I am going to be positive and talk about something light and mood enhancing, my favorite squirrels.
Jay Ward’ s creation “Rocky the
Flying Squirrel” has to lead the list. while not as accidentally erudite as his pal Bullwinkle, he still manages to save the day. Not like the wannabe flying squirrels who overtook me from both sides with no announcement.
Twiggy the water skiing squirrel is number two on the list. This intrepid rodent not only water-skis, she teaches safety. The invisible ride captains could learn a lot from Twiggy. Safety is not only fun but if you do it right you get your own travel home and some
mighty fine nuts.
There are not a lot of famous squirrels to draw on for information. There was the one who attacked a buddy of mine while he was playing disc golf. That was shameful and I am not talking about the rodent. The Ninja Squirrel on you tube shows just how maniacal a fuzzy friend can be. Squirrels are just plain dangerous. That’s a fact.
Steven Speilberg debuted Slappy and Skippy in 1993 and they have had quite the career even if it is built on gags about blowing things up.
Slappy is the dynamite wielding diva and Skippy is her innocent nephew.
In short, one squirrel wrecking things and the other acting innocent,
nothing at all like weekend cyclists.
Last but not least we should mention the Pink Squirrel, a lovely concoction made by pouring, cream, creme de cacao and Amaretto over ice and then shaking till frothy. I particularly like the part about shaking till frothy.
So you see, it isn’t that hard to be nice, is it?
Squirrel: noun, a cyclist who is all over the road, id est your nuts aren’t safe.