Suffering

My Butt Hurts

I am in training. That is not exactly true. I am actually drinking beer and having dreams of levitation. This is nothing new I drink beer and have these dreams all time. I drink a few beers, pick your integer, and then I dream I am floating above the world with a few pulses from the energy pulsing from my palms. Yeah,really, all of the time.

I could have used some of those pulses of energy last Saturday. Four of us went out on a 95 mile death ride. It could have been more fun but then we couldn’t call it a death ride. Why such a morbid moniker? Ordinarily on a long ride you take frequent breaks to rest and recharge. We stopped three times and one of those times was a red light. My good buddy Hudler said we should suffer as much as possible so that when we have a good ride we will know it.

I wonder if the pros have a training program like this. I have been told that Sean Kelly (Famous Irish Racer for the uninformed.) had a program based on suffering. Apparently his idea of a winter training camp was to ride a hundred miles a day in the Irish damp. A few weeks of this and pretty much everything else seems easy. I suspect there were a few pints of Guinness involved but purely formedicinal use.

Sponge Bob and I were having a discussion one very windy day. We are connoisseurs of wind. When we say very windy it means 35 - 40 mph with 50 mph + gusts. Some of the local club riders were doing the Jalapeno 100. This year it meant a 50 miles sufferfest back into that same horrid wind. We came to the conclusion that self inflicted suffering does not make one a hero, or a martyr. But, in the words of Rod Stewart, “Look how wrong you can be”

My friend Armando went out to ride the 50 mile segment of the Jalapeno. He brought his bike over before the ride to have me give it a once over. He lingered for a while to get some support and encouragement. This was to be his first 50 mile ride. I told him it’s only a couple of hours and he could do it no problem. Basically I nonchalantly sent him into the gates of hell. Many of the more experienced riders abandoned the ride but Armando stayed with it and finished. It took him a very long time and I know he must have been in pain. That makes him a hero in my book. He showed a lot of courage and determination. He has lost over 40 pounds because he started riding his bike instead of playing video games. He doesn’t race or even own a flashy bike but he’s the real thing.

Passing Note.

I get asked a lot about when I started cycling. 1960 in Alabama. Here is the oldest known picture of me riding. Yes, I really was that dirty.